just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize