yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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