i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
