Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
