I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
