he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
