yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
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