I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
