you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I believe in your delicious
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
