real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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