My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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