I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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