I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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