Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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