did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
