I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
