I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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