Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Randomize
