Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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