I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
