You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
