i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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