He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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