When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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