All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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