i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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