All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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