Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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