The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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