Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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