Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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