We're facebook friends in real life
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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