i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
