It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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