bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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