This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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