he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
