I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
