Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
