That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
