Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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