Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
