Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize