last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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