Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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