He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
