I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will never coherently bang her
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
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