Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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