You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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