I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
