i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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