she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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