I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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