if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
