every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
