dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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