pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
