no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
