dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
